my stuff : last updated : June 15, 2009

my family vids

name : First steps to momma
date created: 8/6/2008
song used: none
about movie:  Eliz takes her first steps to me ^_^

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name : First steps to daddy
date created: 8/6/2008
song used: none
about movie:  eliz taking her first steps to her daddy

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name : beautiful laugh
date created: 8/6/2008
song used: none
about movie:  eliz giving off a sweet laugh, can also see them cute Little teeth of hers showing ^_^

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my poems

when the need for blood is strong

when the need for blood is strong
don't fight it, just kill,

kill like nothing else matters
just kill until the blood is all you smell
until all you see is red

all you're emotions are a weakness
so let the demon take over, and forget them all
let all you feel, is hate, all you see is red

and when the need for blood is strong
don't fight it. just kill
kill until nothing is left
until no more sounds are heard
until all their is around you is blood

and when their are no more sounds
keep looking for more, until all you know
is death, until all you see is red

and when their our no more
then simply lay back and wait
until the smell of blood has faded
and new life starts anew

and then when you smell no more blood
you start all over again and kill
until all you see is blood
all you see is red

until nothing is left
nothing is left......

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goodbye to my soul

It hurts so badly to want you
and know i can never have you
as i sit here, a shadow within the night
a lovers touch within you're dreams
alive, but truly not really living

I dream of things, i can never have
of changes, i can never make,
dreams that will fade, with the rising sun

and as i lean down, kiss you softly
you whisper my name, and my silent tears fall

for how hard it will be,
when tomorrow never comes
having to say goodbye, even before it starts

you haunt my dreams, when i sleep
and my body yearns for you when i wake
But I know, i can never have, the sweetness you promise

I'm forever trapped within darkness,
within the hate, and pain i created myself
and now as the sun rises, i say my goodbyes
leaving behind the only light i knew
saying goodbye to the other part of my soul

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always love you

I wanted it more then life
more then I ever thought I would
But I've always known the truth
that my heart didn't want to know
we can't be together, I can't love you
It wouldn't be right, it wasn't met to be

I keep trying to tell my heart
we are doing nothing, but fooling ourselves
building up that wall, for pain to knock down
we wasn't met to be, I've always known that
two different people, from different worlds

I've always known, we was two different
we'd never be able to be together
when everyone said we wouldn't work out
we couldn't live with Love, when it was so new
so they tell us, to simply walk away
and never look back, that its not met to be

so tell me why it hurts so much
and why I feel like a part of me is gone ?
where is the light in my life ?
where is the feeling of being complete ?
Where did it all go wrong ?

I keep telling myself the pain will pass
my heart will heal with time, the pain will fade
and I will move on, with no more regrets
Or so that's what I tell myself
But deep inside I know the truth
I can't seem to face, the only truth there is

I can't stop loving you, cuz they say I should
I can't stop wanting you, when my heart cries out
I can't live without you, when you're my reason for living
I can't stop my heart, from loving you

I finally see, what they tried to hide from me
the truth my heart seems to I've always known
You're my everything, my only one
you're the reason I live, the reason I breathe
I found where I belong, in you're arms, in your heart
and in you're soul, is where I wish to always stay
always loved, by you and you alone,
always and forever , I will love you

I no longer care what they say
my love for you, is always and forever
and that's how it will always stay,
always and forever in my own heart,
it where I always love you

my friends

I don’t talk or see alot of my older friends, but below is the list of the ones I talk to or love the most

hope — a girl a knew while in fla, she was really good friend that i use to go to the country clubs with, I talk to her once in a blue moon on yahoo, its just very, and I do mine very rare that we talk to each other

brain givens — a wonderful childhood friend that holds a truly deep part of my heart, we knew each other since we was born ( or I should say I, since I think I’m a year or two older then him lol )… we grew up together and did everything together, that boy pretty much lived at my home lol, we was rarely seen apart, He was also my first ever crush, my first boyfriend and my first kiss ( both types lol ) , though I can’t remember all our memories together, there are still a few that always make me smile, ones that make me only miss him more, but I learned after moving back to fla, that my very best, most beloved friend…had died… till this day…I still can’t believe he’s gone..I keep thinking i would be able to go and see him, but i also know he’s gone.. and no wishing can bring him back to me :(

brain brown — yeap i knew another brain lol This one happened to have a huge crush on me ( he will deny it.. but its true lol) He use to drive me nuts at school and it was my brain (givens) that had to tell him off ..but truly he was and still is a good friend of mine… I haven’t seen him since I left school and fla, But I do talk to him on yahoo and he has a myspace site ” He’s really the only true friend i talk to online still .. and he’s still nuts i say, But he’s still a great friend and I’m that he has someone special in his life ^^

Stacey (hellcat) — Stacey is my all time best friend ( well a girl one anyways lol) , The two of us met when she emailed me about one of my really old sailor moon Like sites.. One I have long since got rid of , we share a passion for role-playing and anime’s ( like inuyasha) , we live a really Long way from one another, But even a distance we both seem to click, we like alot of the same things and always seem to know how to make the other feel good even when they are really down, She has a son ryan, who i just wanna hug to death lol, we also share a deep love for our story “loving darkness” she wants my char night wolf, and i want her kain men from the story.. hehe , but really she is more Like a sister then just an online friend ^_^ think we both feel like we have known eachother all our lifes ^ she has her own sites that are in my favorite sites ^^
 

Credits

Image: ProjectA3
Layout: Elysium Designs