Rose gate's

well went to my Doctor's today.. I hate having to wait.. it takes forever >> but when I finally got to see my Doctor.. he didn't have the info from the ct-scan I did.. so he left and came back they had a copy yet the hospital that did the scans and blood work said they couldn't find my blood work.. how gay is that ??? >_< so my doctor's office is trying to work with them to find it.. Other wise I have to go get the blood work done again >_< other wise they can't make me a appointment to see a brain Doctor about my seizures ..

My doctor did go up on my Med's though.. so instead of 100 twice daily.. It is now 150 twice Daily... I have to get that filled on Friday when chad get's paid.. since we don't got no money on us right now... we only had enough to pay the water bill and get gas.. I have to also ask The people at wal-mart ( where I get my pills) ... rather I just start with the 150 or do I got to go into it slowly....

Other then that.. It's simple more waiting before I can go see the brain doctor and then go find out rather i could have ADD ....

My ex boyfriend who I only knew online..is asking me for Love advice .. how odd is that ?... Him and his gf of only 10 months broke up like 14 days ago.. and he's been asking Me how to get her back....but I truly don't think she really wants to get back with him at all.. but I can only give him the advice... but it is still really odd don't ya think? but he's a sweet guy and I can't help but want to try to help him.. though I do think he needs to move on... but guess I gotta wait and see how that goes... but I'm about 100 % sure they won't be getting back together ....

Me and my friend stacey have been talking about our story LD ( loving darkness ) on and off ^^ it's really nice to be thinking and talking about it again though ^^.. not sure when we will start rping it again.. though we won't be sharing it..it will simple between us..unless we later change our minds.. for now.. It's just our baby lol

I hope to be able to start back working on my story's site.. but at the moment I've had to worry about my Health.. and plus LD is our baby and can't help but think of it lol……

well I went and seen my Brain doctor today.. she mostly asked me alot of questions.. and told me the blank spells was a mini seizure ( that we thought anyways ) but she told me that's what she believes they are.. she also thinks they could be " diabetes seizures ( that we had no idea there was one..).. but my father does have diabetes.. so maybe it isn't such a shock ... today though she has gone up on my pills again.. ( I have to take it slowly... 150mg in the morning.. and 200mg in the afternoon .. for at least 2 to 3 weeks .. so my body can get use to the change..before it's finally 200mg twice daily..

I have to go see her again in may and If the Mini seizures don't stop.. then she told me they would have to make me have one O_o .. I didn't even know the doctor's could make me have one.. but she told me how they would have to do it is... Take away my med's ..not let me sleep..and give me alot of sweets ( suger)... I'm guessing to the point where my body can't take it no more..that it will send me into a seizures.. O_o.. creepy thought really.... but It maybe the only way to find out just where the seizures are starting from.... I really hope the new change in my pills will help get rid of the spells so I won't have to do that .. I don't really wanna be made to have one >_< they are scary enough as it is ……

I'm so darn annoyed... I went to see a psychiatry today about maybe having ADD.. so I go in there and start talking to her ..and she wanted to give me two different type of pills to take. ones that can cause seizures ..

NOW this woman knew for a fact I already have them. and I am on meds for them.. I was so unsure of what I should do after I let her office.. so when I got home. I talked to my mother on the phone about it and she told me not to take them.. so did my brother.. as while as my grandfather..

I mean what person gives a person who Has seizure meds that could cause them ?

so I went to my pharmacy to ask them what they thought having already figured out I didn't wish to do it.. and so I went to simply see what they thought.. one of the meds they didn't even know it..

the second one they knew of and even said They wouldn't want me to take it .. cuz it is known to cause them..

so yea you figured it right I didn't fill them.. I mean who would ?

so when I got home I called her office. and now get this. the woman got snappy at me.. can you believe that? she dared to get snappy at me

I told her what they told me and she told me I should go to a different pharmacy cuz they aren't doctors.. as if she was...

then she told me about how she told me about the risk. and I was yea but even I don't like the idea. and she simply got snappy at me. now what right does she have to get snappy at me ???

I mean who wants to take a meds that causes them. when you already have them?.. no telling what could happen to me.. Or if it does something to my meds as it is >_<

I mean ok..IF I have ADD that sounds like I may.. I don't care.. I mean I know most people that have it take meds.. but NO way am I taking meds that will make my own seizures worse..

I'd rather have ADD then deal with the risk of my seizures.…

put eliz's hair up into pony tails today ( well march 19, 2011)... she really likes it and doesn't wanna take it down lol.. so cute, know will have to do start doing it more often :-) sweetness .. I love my baby girl so much ……